God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize