Grow some girl-balls and come out already
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
