Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
