im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
please come you make the beer taste better
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.