I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.