what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
