The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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