Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
