Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
