i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
