Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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