There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
