Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
