i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
