Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
