Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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