I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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