I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
