I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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