lets start a swedish sibling band together
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i came on her dog
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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