I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He shit in the fireplace
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
