3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
