official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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