What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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