ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
