I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
