Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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