if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
