we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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