So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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