You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
