Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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