I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
