Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
