Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
