Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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