ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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