It was like getting head from an anaconda
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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