And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
