Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
