He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
