I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
