my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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