it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
