hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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