i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
