I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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