Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
