Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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