We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He has the fingertips of a God
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