He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
