It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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