just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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