If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize