She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
