I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
