Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
