So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize