The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
