This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
