Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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