When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
