I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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