the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
