420 ftw
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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