we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
