try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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